Sunday 28 December 2008

English as the EU’s only official language

I honestly hope that what the title says will never come true.

 

This is just for fun (I know it’s old, but there’s a big chance not everyone’s seen it).

 

 

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as re plasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Wednesday 24 December 2008

Christmas

 

Christmas season which began months ago is reaching its peak. Main streets and shopping centres are besieged with rushing people. I took part in this act of madness when I went to get presents for my friends (and one for myself!) and supplies to survive these few days of holidays. Credit crunch still remains almost invisible.

This is the third consecutive Christmas that I’m not spending with my family and only now am I beginning to miss being with them at this time. The Christmas Eve supper I’m making is going to be nothing like the supper I would be having now in Poland. After all, how can cod with roast potatoes compare to, traditionally, twelve dishes which include my favourite pierogi and barszcz? I’ve already promised myself to spend the next Christmas with my family. Just to think I had never particularly liked this time of year.

 

I would like to wish all my friends and everyone who reads this blog a very Happy Christmas.

Wednesday 10 December 2008

Not again! :(

 

I can't stand this anymore! I'm jobless, homeless and they will probably kick me out of uni...

Help!